COPD

[jillbartlett]

I'm new to the forum, desperate to help my mother in law. 6 months ago, she lost her husband to small cell lung cancer within 3 weeks of the diagnosis. And with no retirement or life insurance in place upon his death, she has met challenge after challenge in the closing of that chapter. What's more is that it seems that her own deteriorating health has drawn the issue of COPD exposing a history of bronchial pnuemonia, bronchitus, emphysemia, upon respiratory disease, upon respiratory disease, and even some heart and stomach problems. She is 58, does not yet qualify to receive her late husband's social security, nor for herself. She is having numerous problems getting back on track toward self-sufficiency. The condition of her "mobile home" is by no means theraputic, environmentally especially. But the worst part about it is listening to her progressively getting sicker and sicker, and therefore becomming more hopeless about her situation, knowing th steps that most of us that love her have taken to offer any kind of help, none of us knowing who to turn to for actual, real help. The financial aspect of all this is proving to be overwhelming, and I'm afraid of how much further down my mother in law's depression is going to allow her health to plummit. She seems almost resigned to the idea that she will just never have any more quality years to prepare for, all but giving up on trying. But I know her better than that. I guess when you can't really see your children or the people you always thought of as your family, fighting for you the way that you would imagine you always would for them, it can be probably gut you a lot deeper than most of us really know. I can't let that selfless woman feel like there is no hope anymore. So this is my plea for help. I can only use the computer at the public library in Azle, Tx, where we live, so I'll check to see if anyone heard me in the next day or two. Thanks for caring.

[Breeze58]

I'm so sorry to hear about your MIL. She can get your father's social security benefits as "widow's benefits," provided she is diagnosed as having an illness that will last at least one year & she is over 50 yrs old. which she is. Just go to or call SS & have them send the paperwork. They ask you to sign releases for them to get info about her diagnosis from her doctors, but I found that it was much better that I also contacted each one myself & got copies of the tests done, diagnosis, & any reports & hand-carried them to SS myself. The releases tend to get lost in docs offices. If she is too ill to go, she can call them & tell them you are picking up the paperwork for you. She could just write a little note to that effect too.

Also, it's VERY important to know that many people (if not the majority) get turned down the first time, but easily get it on the appeal It just seems to be a way to eliminate some people along the way.

I've just quit smoking myself & I'm her age & had smoked since I was 13 yrs old. So it can do done. I wish you the best of luck with both her & your own immediate family.

[Davy9]

Your post is more emotion than objective information. Your MIL is still young (relatively) and the actual status of her COPD has apparently not yet been assessed. She could be in better condition than you think....or not. But the only way to find out is to get her pulmonary system medically evaluated. If her living quarters are dirty they will need to be cleaned and kept that way. You can also do things to make her daily tasks simpler like shower stools, lower food storage and reaching aids. She has gone through a lot lately and is undoubtedly impacted psychologically. That is part of her medical problem and it too requires treatment. It sounds like a ratty deal and I'm sorry to hear of your circumstance. But you need to be pragmatic and take the steps for her that are necessary to slow her sliding health status and get her on some course back to a sustainable level of living. If she refuses your help that is her right and you can feel that you did your best. That is all you can do and that is all anyone can expect you to do. For what it is worth your situation is not uncommon and it is sad in every case. You have my sympathy and so does your MIL.